Hi all. I think it’s probably fitting that I start out my website with an effort to write, first and foremost, about things and people that mean a lot to me. So, I choose my first post to be about my mom. She’s staying at the Caring House in Durham and is going daily (through the week) to receive treatments at Duke.
A few years back, my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma. The doctors in Charlotte were very optimistic and promised her that they’d beat this. And they came through. She lost her hair, went through a lot of pain and being tired, but for some reason, she never really seemed like someone that was suffering from cancer and chemotheraphy. Certainly not like those people you see on TV stories about cancer.
But, she went through all of that and came out on top. She got better, got her energy back, got her hair back, and really started enjoying life again. She kept working through all of this, mind you.
Then, a few weeks ago, everything changed. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This time it didn’t seem to be the same.
My mom got an edible arrangement from a friend. This is from her second week at the Caring House in Durham. November 3, 2011.
My parents came up to see me in Raleigh. I’m oblivious. I’m especially oblivious when it comes to picking up signs that things are bad with my parents. They insisted that they come up. I had plans and wanted to just come down to Lincolnton the next weekend. the insisted. I said “sure” and made plans to hang out with them. They wanted to see Wally and hang out with me. Everything was fine Friday night. We had dinner and hung out and watched TV. The next day, we went to Best Buy to get my dad a new laptop- got it home and they told me what was going on.
She has a tumor on her pancreas. It’s small, but it’s there. This type of cancer spreads rapidly. Very much so…
She was faced with options like:
1) Go through a Whipple Procedure.
2) Wait and enjoy life as much as possible.
That’s about it. She had decided that she didn’t want the Whipple. She wanted my advice. I just want her to do what she wants and not get herself in a position where she’s not liking being alive. I wouldn’t want to see her in pain. My last memory of her mom, my grandmother, is of her sitting on her couch in severe pain. I don’t want to see that again and I don’t want her to live like that.
People that know me well, know my position on things like this. I’m very opinionated on this particular topic.
She decided to seek out other opinions and that landed her with an amazing team of doctors at Duke who specialize in what she has. They started from scratch and agreed it was pancreatic cancer, but their approach was different- let’s try to shrink the cancer and see where that gets us. I’m torn on how I feel about surgery. I do think it’s rushed into a lot. I just feel like there’s a lot that can be done in many situations before cutting someone up.
So, she’s now living in Durham at the Caring House and I got to stay with her last weekend. I’m heading there again after work, but she’s doing really well. She’ll be in Durham for 3 more weeks, chemo and radiation every day (during the week), and we’re gonna see where this takes us.
I’m scared. I’ve never been this scared before. It scares me more, for some reason, that this is cancer again. I feel like I should feel a little better because I know there’s a lot that can be done about cancer. For some reason, it’s not the same. But, I’ll let the doctors do what they know how to do best. I’ll wait. And I’m going to be there for my parents.
