I miss my dad. There’s so much I want to ask him and do with him. Especially now that I have a house. I want to work on it with him. I want him to teach me stuff I don’t know how to do.

He was good with his hands and I don’t even know what to do. I feel like I’m not living up to his legacy.

I’m at work. Taking a break to think and decided to write something here.

I lost my dad nearly a month ago now. Wednesday will be a month. Things have been really hard in the meantime, but I’ve been dealing with it as best I can. I miss him. I hate that he didn’t get to see me get married or have a kid or anything like that. I thought we’d have so much more time together.

My family hasn’t had much in the way of luck when it comes to dying early. Not much makes sense in this world and death, while totally natural and expected, completely throws off all plans. Or it destroys plans, rather. I just wish he didn’t suffer as much as he did during his decline. I hope he truly wasn’t aware of what all was going on those last few weeks.

I wish there was more I could do. Or that I’d never gotten frustrated with him. I did a couple times. I hope he didn’t realize it or think badly of me for it. I’m rambling and considered editing this so it makes more sense, but I think this is a place where I don’t need to edit. I don’t mind my ramblings being exactly that–ramblings.

Started going to Orange Theory Fitness this weekend. I’m sore. My arms don’t work anymore and are now just ornaments for the rest of my body. Getting into bed is the best thing in the world. Getting out, the worst.

Amy and I have signed up for one class a week, then will expand to two in the new year. Gonna be tough!

Today, I’m listening to country and looking forward to not being in pain. Oh, and to getting in shape.